For the last week I’ve been so depressed, I’ve just been paralyzed. It happens sometimes, and there isn’t usually any kind of reason. I now just know that it happens, and have people around me who understand that being depressed doesn’t mean that you are mad at them, or that you wish your life was different, or… anything. Just like having the flu doesn’t mean you hate your friends.
So I’ve been working on my business while working 40-ish hours/week at my “side” job and trying to get a final edit of my book ready to send to an agent. Yeah, right. More like I’ve been spending 4 hours a day staring at the computer getting mad that I’m not doing anything.
But today I took a few baby steps back toward my productive self. I don’t know if it’s been the endless string of rainy, sunless days, but I very much haven’t wanted to go outside. Still, today, I got out there in the rain and made it happen.
And here’s the point. Did it take me 3 hours to write an email, go to the bank, sell a box of books, and fill the car with gas? Sure. Did I get so enraged at the traffic that I actually told a crossing guard to “die in a fire”? Maybe. But I did something. And I made a to-do list without shuddering. So I’m calling the day a success.
You have to do what you have to do, people. Some days all you can swing is filling the gas tank and semi-cursing at a crossing guard. And that’s okay.
You may also like these posts: